Agape Love, minus the deity

how much do we owe the ones we love? those who can not reciprocate beyond giving need. the answer would be nothing, actually there is no answer because it begs the question of agape love in the first place. agape being one sided, no reciprocation considered. or ever a part of it. but it still feels like we owe them simply because we loved in the first place. i'm talking, of course, about the girls. in truth, i owe them nothing. especially not my guilt. but that doesn't make it any less present. which sucks. but there comes a point where i have to make a decision concerning what is right for me and not is right for anyone else. especially consideering that even by being here i can't improve their situation. i can only give it a cheap, easily peeled bandaid. simply because i'm not the one responsible for doing so. i am not their parent. i'm not as cold as this sounds. it's taken me some serious thought and discussion with trusted loved advisors to come to this point. Now i just need to assuage my intimidation. it's bizarre that it seems so hard. it makes me feel like i don't even recognize myself. which makes me even more angry and even more unhappy. which make sme realize even more that i need to be anywhere but here. and i wise person told me today not to make a decision of where to be on the 'anywhere but here' ideal. so i'll say watertown instead of here....