Dreams aren't perfect...

...they come true, not free.
I heard that today and thought that no truer words have ever been spoken. I feel as though i'm paying such a high cost for a chance to live my dreams. although, that's just me being dramatic of course. in the wide scope of things the cost is not so high and I have already been blessed with many dreams realized. so, i will have to suck it up and stop being such a baby. although, i will continue to moon over Rex in these, my cathartic entries. almost as though it were a place of complete anonymity. what a wonder the iternet is, to give such a feeling of liberation that i can write as though no one will read and yet anyone could.

I have found a wonderful new spot perfect for introspection, letter and journal writing and general soul searching. it is about a 20 minute walk from here. It is a sadly placed fake lighthouse. sad because it is fake. it has no purpose except to make the rich people around here feel like they are living in a wistful, romantic cove. so, of course it is usually fairly lonely. now i will keep it company. it has a large set of stone steps leading up to it where i like to spread out my journal, stationary, discman, phone, book and whatever else i've taken with me. it is wonderful. Yesterday i spent several hours there in the afternoon and then returned in the evening. it calls to me and in these days of turmoil with my employer it gives me a strange kind of peace that i love so much.

I will probably spend most of the day there on friday. to be out of the house. and somewhere where i can think uninterrupted.